Vacay

One of my favorite things in life is to watch my kids experience new adventures.  I especially love taking them places that I have been and watching them see and feel it through their own eyes.  I gain so much perspective.  Everything is new and big and exciting to them. I have two types of kids - the adventurer - ready to go on a whim, doesn't ask how or why or when, just packs her bags, and the homebody - excited about going but asking when we're coming home.  Vacationing is always interesting.

This year we did Chicago.  We tossed around Disney but after Bailey analyzed the safety of all the rides and panicked everytime one of us got on a ride at Six Flags this summer, and Kate rode the only roller coaster they would let her on 8 times and was upset that she was too little to ride more, I decided that we might need to grow a little.  Stephen and I have been to Chicago twice before - he's a huge Bears fan and I'm a huge fan of shopping - so it's the best of both worlds.  We have only been for weekends - once right before I was diagnosed and then last year as a "whew, what a couple of years" birthday surprise from Stephen.
This trip was different and incredibly fun for all of us.  We have always taken the train into the city, so in the spirit of adventure and frugality, we decided to do this with the kids.  After 4 suitcases, 2 backpacks, a stroller, and about a mile walk, I made the executive decision that sparing the expenses on this may not be worth it and we would take a cab from then on.  Well, that and watching Kate fall down a flight of stairs in the train station, landing in a helpless pile of backpack, hair, and tears.
Kate took Chicago by storm in a stroller like a princess on her thrown, and Bailey was not incredibly thrilled about all of the walking that ensued.  We frequently found him trying to hail a cab - he's quite resourceful.

The boys went to see Stephen's beloved Bears at Soldier Field while Kate and I enjoyed gourmet chicken nugget dining experience at the American Girl Cafe.  I will admit, the American Girl jazz is a racket but at least wholesome fun and I am just as hooked as she is because my first love for fashion came from dressing my dolls.  I do not love football, but the Ultimate Tailgate is pretty fun and we all went down before the game to see the crazy Bears fans decked out and throw the football for some free junk.

We took a walking tour through Millennium Park to see our reflections in the Cloud Gate.  We were all equally fascinated at the structure and how our reflections change depending on where we stand.  Lots of silliness was had as the kids pretended to be lifting it up and made faces at themselves, but I stared at the reflection of our 4 smiling and waving faces and gave thanks that we could experience this life together and then marveled at how dang good we look in spite of it all.

We visited the Field Museum to say hi to Sue, the T-Rex.  She's pretty cool in the world of dinosaurs,
anyway.  The Field Museum is full of taxidermy.  I've never seen more dead and realistic creatures in my life.  Bailey was of course, very intrigued and Kate's attention was captured with the first 100 or so birds and wildlife but then turned to how soon we could get to the gift shop.  My favorite line from her was, "Mommy, if these animals are all dead, why are their eyes open?" Umm, well...
We took a cab to Wrigley - something Stephen has always wanted to see but it also is in close proximity - if you count a 2 mile walk with 2 kids - to the Chicago Music Exchange which was his real motivation to go there.  It is the mecca of guitars and I was a bit concerned that he may fill out a job application and not be coming home with us.  Two curious children in a store of very expensive guitars makes for an excellent deterrent to buy so fortunately we did not bring one home.

And, of course, we did Navy Pier.  Probably the most popular tourist attraction but the Ferris Wheel is pretty cool so we rode it 3 times.  It's a great view of the city and the water and a great way to sum up the trip.

The city is big and different from anything our kids had seen.  Stephen asked me what my favorite part was and I said, "seeing what I've already seen through their eyes."  We are not city people but it's fun to experience and Chicago does it really well, especially in the fall.  The weather is perfectly fallish and Michigan Avenue has the biggest pumpkins I've ever seen.  It was the perfect way to kick off the busy fall season ahead.
Taxi cabs, planes, busy sidewalks, lots of walking and new adventures are fun but nothing compares to curling up at home with two cuddly and clean kids to watch a movie.  That's how we ended our fall break and Bailey said, "I love nights like this."  Me too, buddy. Me too.

I miss coach pitch...

Among many activities this fall, Bailey has been in the throws of fall baseball.  We've encouraged baseball because, well, at almost 9, he's just a hair over 4 feet tall and 49 pounds, so football is pretty much out of the question.  Truth is, he loves it - walks around swinging in the air constantly, memorized all the baseball players names and positions on the Mississippi State team, and begs his daddy to throw a ball every chance he gets, but for a mama it's been tough to watch.  Now, I have no athletic ability and know nothing about sports - couldn't care less, but kid pitch is a different game.  For a few seasons of coach pitch, I've been nervously excited as he got up to bat hoping he'd get a hit, but this game is more about calling the balls and strikes and knowing when not to swing.  There was one game with a girl pitcher on the opposing team that could eat Bailey's lunch and struck out the entire team, pitching a no hitter - girl's got a real future.  All the boys in the dugout were scared of the chic, and so was I.  But, Bailey was the first and one of the few to get on base because of his rather short strike zone. He was pretty proud to be short.
But, most of the season, including last night, he's been used at target practice.  Getting hit by a ball, gets you on base, though, and he knows the drill.  As soon as the ball hits him, he tosses the bat and goes to first, like that's how you play the game.  It's made him a bit gun shy - can't blame the kid, but he keeps playing.  He got hit twice last night - once on the cleat and the last time on the arm.  I watched it and then saw him run to first with his arm hanging limp, paralyzed by the sting, the first base coach, his daddy, trying to get him to shake it off.  I knew it wasn't happening and I met him at the dugout to inspect the hit.  It's really just a bruise - I know it hurt, but he was tough.  I got him the hot chocolate a little early and he went back out there.
And, then it hit me.  I miss coach pitch.  The predictable pitches where my kids know how to line themselves up and hit the ball.  It's not the game, it's the growing up.  As a parent, you hope you arm your kids with the ability to make the right choices, remember who they are, use their manners, be good friends, stick with it when it's important, and bail out when the outcome will reflect negatively on their future.   Don't get me wrong, I am so grateful to be here to run to my car for the dollar for the hot chocolate in the middle of the game, and talk through tough choices that mean keeping their commitments, punish for being disrespectful, praise them for accepting differences of others, and for walking away or not chiming in when friends are being mean to others.  But, wow, what a job!
But with the growing up, also comes with more opportunities to be proud of them.  Bailey begged to go to work with me on fall break one day to see one of my therapy buddies who he has befriended.  They are a little different physically, but have a lot in common and have a great time together.  I was so proud of him and told him later that he made his day, and he said to me, "well, he made my day too."  And, last Sunday, when I was teaching my 5 and 6 year old Sunday school class about how God keeps his promises, I asked the question, "tell me a time when you know that God helped you or someone else with something."  I got lots of answers like "my hamster died" and "when I was scared, " but my little girl sitting right next to me raised her hand and said, "my mommy was sick and her back hurt so she couldn't walk, and God took care of her."  I had to stop that lesson and say the prayer.
So this Thanksgiving season, I'll start with being thankful for the little signs that God gives you that you've done something right with your kids - like when you son has a panic attack when his sister gets out of his sight, or when your daughter chooses to paint her brother's name on a pumpkin for him before she chooses one for herself.  As I clean out closets and realize that Bailey's shirts no longer fit on the toddler hangers and my little turkey hands that will hang in my kitchen this month are steadily getting bigger, it just means that their arms are longer too so when they hug me, I get to feel them wrap completely around me.  And, it gives me hope that they can stand at the plate, and be prepared for big girls with wild pitches, even if the strike zone is a little small.

Moments

Somedays bring you way more than you could wish for and today was one of those days.  I started running in May for the sole purpose of being able to comfortably run the Miles for Melanoma 5k in Nashville today.  My goal was to finish and to still be able to enjoy the day but mostly to give back to help fund further melanoma research.  I met my goal, and a little extra.  What I learned today is that it's easy to run a race when you've already won so much before you ever start.  I've said before that I'm about as good at asking for money as I am asking for help, but I've managed to surround myself with people who have gifts and talents that I don't have.  After the stack of checks that I just mailed in to the MRF and 2 boxes of pink t-shirts, we have raised over $4,000.  And, all I really did was run.  Well, that, and kick some cancer.

 The first day in may that I set out on the pavement to train for this hair-brained idea, I was sure I had lost it.  I wanted to go back home and I wanted to stop and walk but I also wanted to do what I set out to do.  And in the spring when it was cool in the morning and I was the only one up, it really wasn't that bad.  And, when I ran my first 5K in August and was sure I was suffocating because it was 100 degrees, it really wasn't that bad.  And, the day before my birthday when I made it to 4 miles in under 8 minutes a mile, it was really good.  And, today, when I was surrounded by a team of people who drove 200 miles to be there for me and an army of people at home praying, cheering, and wearing bright pink shirts, it was awesome.  

Today was full of moments.  It started at 5:15 when I took my chemo drug and then bent down to tie my running shoes.  I smiled at the irony of it all.  I was already on my knees so it was the perfect time to pray.  It was quick but I thanked God for the drug that I just swallowed to keep my blood from killing me and for the ability to feel my feet in the shoes I was wearing and the ability to not only get down to tie my shoe but to get up again.  I then thanked Him for all of the people who watch this journey and are inspired to give because of what God keeps doing for me and for the people He would continue to help because of the money they gave.  Then, I went to Starbucks.  

The next moment came sometime during the race when I was running on some path in the middle of no place in Nashville that I've ever seen.  There was really no one around me - sky, field, and a path of pavement.  I thanked God once again for that moment - to feel my legs moving one after another, without thinking about where I was putting them and if they would land there.  That moment pretty much carried me to the finish line.   

And, then there was a moment after I got my medal when I heard the cheers and I turned around to see my husband coming toward me to hug me.  As sure as the tattoo of my name on his wrist, there is no doubt he got it - not that I met a goal, ran a race, raised some money - but pushed through cancer and fought back to get to that very moment and hopefully many more just like it.  

I've never run with anyone before but Lauren was in town so we ran together for the first time the other

night. She's way more athletic and coordinated than I'll ever be certainly more competitive than I could ever dream, but at least I was prepared for this challenge.  We ran over 3 miles at a pretty decent pace and even if either one of us was dying we wouldn't have stopped.  And, there was the moment.  We said nothing just ran and  both realized how far I'd come since the day she had to carry me up the hill to the car at Vanderbilt because I couldn't get my legs to go and the days when I could walk but not yet run and would have her watch me run across the yard to see if it was any better.   Even though she couldn't make it too the race, I've always been grateful for her timing and her presence and this week was no exception.  

That's how life is - full of moments.  Cancer has taught me to savor them and stack them up.  Today I stacked them up in a little pile and I will go back to them over and over.  Back to the group of people in pink shirts at the finish line who should be just as proud of themselves as they are of me for giving the support that was needed to get us where we are.  Back to the sight of my little girl jumping up and down because her mommy got the medal that she hoped she would get.  Back to my husband's face.  Back to my knees that I can now get down to and know that I will get back up.  Back to the God that created me and has a plan for a hope and a future.  

Thank you for your gifts,

Kimberly

Inspired

"Inspiration - something that has a strong effect on what you feel or do - especially something good."

This was one of Bailey's vocabulary words and as we were cramming these definitions over breakfast this morning, I found it so fitting in light of all the greatness that has happened over the last week.

I'm a little behind on my updates because of a root canal that does not fall into the greatness category but it's great that it's over.  Very few people can relate but it is what I would refer to as the bone marrow biopsy of your tooth.  And, much like the bone marrow deal, the effects are lasting - I don't recommend unless necessary.  I do think that cancer patients should be exempt from any sort of non-cancer related painful procedure but I'm guessing by my misfortune this week that it's not going to happen.  The dentist ask me who referred me and I said, "Well, sir, your name starts with C, and the A's were busy today."  I am grateful that Mr. C was available but I'm not sure we're friends.

However, the picnic this last weekend was a big success.  There was definitely a sea of pink shirts and we raised about $2000 for MRF this weekend!  The weather couldn't have been more perfect and neither could the people.  It was so fun to watch everybody put on their pink shirts and enjoy the day.  The kids were filthy - the good kind of visible dirt where you know they had fun.  Kate was convinced it was my birthday party - I cannot think of a better gift!  I continue to amazed at the support we are given and how many people are inspired to give.  I was trying to explain to Bailey what inspiration is and the best example I could come up with was the park full of pink shirts and the box full of checks that I saw on Saturday.  I have one amazing team and an amazing group of friends.

Not sure where Ms. Merkle is in that pic but she needs some big credit for the t-shirt art and for having my back on my lack of computer skills too.  I consider myself very lucky to have friends that  take my story so personally that they use gifts and talents that I don't have to help me achieve my goals to help others.  I have party planners, cooks, decorators, organizers, fundraisers, and graphic designers - it's a dangerously good combo!  

Sunday was a big day too.  The third graders were presented with their Bibles and the little people sang in both services.  I've been to a lot of end of season parties for baseball and such to watch Bailey proudly receive those plastic trophies but this is only the beginning of a season.  And this Trophy holds the promise of the future, the story of the past, and help for the present.  It just doesn't get much better than that!  I watched him proudly look through the pages and rub his finger across his printed name. I pray that he will use those words to guide him throughout his life.  Kate was in full force with her chance on stage, of course.  I'm amazed at what they can learn in just a few weeks and how wonderful and dedicated the ladies who teach them are. 

We have subtracted and then added to our critter list around here with the hermit crabs.  I found one of the creepy little critters buried and not moving so he had to be returned to the pet store for a    replacement.  I was given specific instructions on what to purchase and reminded that the crab should

be free.  It was thought by my special friend that he would do better in a separate cage but I convinced him that the cage itself was indeed not free and we weren't purchasing anymore equipment for this little experiment.  He did choose the largest and most beastly in the cage and according to the girl at the store, "only the strong survive."  Hmmm...  On the way home, he decided to take him out of the box examine his activity level and the crab promptly pinched him, drawing blood, and a scream from the backseat.  Someone said they live 70 years.  We may have a winner.

We are looking forward to some fun family fall break time this week.  I don't remember getting one of those as a kid but I think it's a great invention whoever came up with it.  It's a good time to breathe in some air before we all hibernate for the winter and a nice break from the guilt you feel from not quite fitting in or forgetting some the site words, spelling words, forms, permission slips, or healthy snacks for at least one week.

Thank you to all of you who have donated to help us raise money for the MRF.  I'm so excited and we are looking forward the race!

 Love always,

KJ