- I escaped last year virtually pain free, hospital free, bone marrow biopsy free, and more importantly, cancer free. This is not my accomplishment - I take no credit for it. It’s God’s grace and mercy, countless prayers that were said, and years of scientific research in the making.
- Friendships and relationships have strengthened and deepened - some because of the bond that cancer builds, some because they are already in too deep to get out now, and some because they have invested so much time and energy in prayer and hope that they are determined to see it through.
- I was inspired to run for the sole purpose of giving back to the research that saved my life. The training fueled my determination and so did the people that need the miracle that I’ve gotten. I finished the race with a first place medal but more importantly with a crowd of open-armed pink-shirt wearing people who helped us give back.
- We celebrated cancer remission with an impromptu party, an overly full house, and through the generosity of others, gave back to a local charity to brighten the day of other people with cancer.
- I walked my baby girl into the doors of kindergarten for the first day of school, kissed her goodbye, and walked out with the assurance that she was okay and so was I. We had arrived at a place that I never thought I’d be.
- Just as importantly, I watched my baby boy walk himself confidently to his 3rd grade classroom. No fear, no tears, and no worries that I wouldn’t be there when he walked out that day.
- I traveled. Some planned, some not. New York, Chattanooga, Hawaii, Nashville, St. Louis, Atlanta, Chicago, Mississippi, the Gulf Coast, the lake.
- I experienced new things through the eyes of my children as we traveled together - the mountains, the ocean, the subway, the city, planes, taxi cabs, dinosaur bones, ocean creatures, football stadiums, doll stores, air force bases, water sports. All of these experiences as equal to me as their faces of excitement of baby birds being born, Christmas morning, clean plate dinners at Waffle House, and their little bodies snuggled close to me on the couch for movie nights.
- For the first time in 2 years, I was not in the hospital or having surgery for Stephen’s birthday. I was able to give him a report of clean scans rather than an MRI showing a tumor in my spine.
- My in-laws were able to actually visit us this year without my children worrying that we would leave and not return, even allowing Stephen and I to enjoy some time together in Hawaii, courtesy of his company and his hard work.
- I celebrated 36 years. 3 more than science promised.
- I get the joy of watching my husband learn songs and play guitar for 5-12 year olds every Sunday morning. I know it’s not exactly the band he had in mind, but I am proud of his commitment and the way he truly enjoys those little people.
- I get the pleasure of spending my Sunday mornings with 5 and 6 year old little girls as we muddle through lessons together like choosing joy even when things don’t go our way. As I expected, I may get more out of it than they do but I’m reassured that something sinks in when one little girl pipes up after I say, “Always be joyful...” to finish with, “because you belong to the Lord!”
- I went ice-skating, water skiing, and ran three 5Ks.
- I’ve made it to every baseball game, choir performance, school party, parent-teacher conference, birthday party, and daisy scout event this year. I have pictures and videos to prove it.
- I tweaked my career a little, which helped me gain perspective, insight, and take a step forward in accepting change as positive.
- I started a blog. Reluctant. Delayed. Grateful. Grateful for all the people that actually read it, for words to have, and for whatever that cancer did to make me write.
- I tell my story. I’m actually starting to enjoy it. Sometimes for the reaction that I get from people, sometimes because I need to hear it myself, and sometimes because I know that’s the way I find a common bond. I take pride in comments like, “I would have never known,” or “you look so young,” “wow, you look really good,” or my favorite, “bless your heart.” I’m really okay with the days I looked bad, so thanks for the compliment. My heart has been blessed.
- Apparently others are inspired and so I continue to be inspired. I’ve come out of my private world of flying under the radar to accept hugs from people whom I’ve never met but know all about me and I’m really okay with it. My long time friend, Jessica Ferguson ran the Chicago Marathon this year in my honor. We went to high school together, haven’t seen each other in years, and she ran over 26 miles and raised a lot of money for the American Cancer Society with my name pinned to the back of her shirt. I am humbled.
- I’ve come to realize that friends even when distance comes between you and friends, it just means you might need a more economical car and give you more chances for road trips. Miss Martha Kate is an excellent traveler and a perfect little road trippin’ buddy. We experienced our first mother-daughter trip this year. I look forward to many more.
- I’m learning to say no. No to what won’t matter in 5 years, no to what makes me tired, or makes me tired to think about, no to fluff, no to things that aren’t worth investing time or energy, no to people sometimes. And, I’m learning to let go of things that I can’t change or couldn’t get done. After all, I can still play the cancer card, right?
- I say yes a lot more. Yes to peanut butter on top of oreos, yes to playing with play doh, yes to jumping from the top of the slide to get on the swing, yes to playing in the rain, yes to hermit crabs, yes to pajamas for half the day, or the whole day, yes to coffee, yes to whatever reason somebody comes up with to celebrate. Yes to whatever makes memories.
- I coined the term Cancerversary and blew out 3 candles. A day I never would have thought I would actually celebrate, but again, why not?
- My children are healthy and growing, not to mention perfect and brilliant. My husband is healthy and still sticking by me regardless of my crazy. Our cars are running, most of the time. Our appliances are running, most of the time.
- I know that I am loved and needed - by my family, by my husband, by our family and friends. And, I am certain that as I look back on the road map of chaos that I call my life, I am assured that God had a plan and He still does.
I read a verse the other day - John 10:10. “The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). My plan for 2014 is to enjoy life until it overflows. Happy New Year!
Kimberly
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