Fourteen!
Bailey, what an amazing fourteen year old you are! Sometimes I cannot get over the fact that you are mine - I am surely the luckiest.
When you were a little boy, you were probably the most stubborn and head strong kid I have ever seen. You also asked more questions than I thought possible - really good ones and sometimes ones that I couldn’t answer - and we didn’t have Siri or Alexa. If you said you were doing it, then you were definitely doing it and really it was the same for if you said you weren’t. You taught yourself how to ride a bike in a day and then to tie your own shoes the very next day all because you said you were going to. I have often wondered what inside of you makes you never give up, what makes you to keep pushing the limits until the limits exceed your expectations. I’ve spent fourteen years watching you practice and push yourself and when we would have all been exhausted, when sometimes I was exhausted, you kept going. This year, even more so. Because of you, I have kept going so many times.
You started this year with two crutches and a brace, and a backpack - oh that backpack…and in one incredible year, you have managed to shed them all. You stand so tall now - well past my shoulders and after so many months of walking behind you or in front of you, I love that you walk right beside me because now I can catch your glances when you think something’s funny and you’re trying not to laugh. I can hear the mumbled joke the first time and I get the very best view of your cute face.
You told me last year when we were sitting in the hospital that you planned to go everywhere and see everything that you missed out on the year before. Well, son, I do believe you tried. You’ve had us so busy and it has been so much fun to watch and experience with you. For someone who likes to fly under the radar, you have really pushed the limits. You made two appearances on national television, your art ended up in the grocery freezer and in the halls of St. Jude, and I can’t open my newsfeed without seeing your face. You started back to school again and I may have been more nervous than when I dropped you off at kindergarten, but I doubt you will every forget how welcome you were.
You got an electric scooter for Christmas last year. It sat in the living room for a month but then one day in January you got it out of the box and decided to ride it. You were still on crutches so while I kind of thought it was a bad idea I still let you do it. Part of me was scared out of my mind that you would fall and break the very leg we’d been working on all year, but the other part of me knew you would be awesome and I couldn’t wait to see it. I kind of held my breath and videoed you but I was really trying not to throw up. You sped off down the hill and once you got out of my sight I realized that I really had no control and I was just going to have to let you go. You came back smiling and I knew that was the beginning of a lot of me letting go. This year has been full of some things that I kind of thought were a bad idea, but I let you do them anyway and just hoped for the best.
I have watched you shake hands with football players, baseball players, and even Dak Prescott. They know you by name and by your story too. I’ve watched you tackle school and tackle one scan after another, bravely facing both even though you wanted to do neither. And after every appointment and every scan, you switch right back to your life and school. I know how tough that is when no one else around you is doing the same thing. You were also baptized this year - it was an honor to stand with you in your decision and an honor to see you walk up the steps and kneel crutch free in front of the church - something you were determined to do. I kind of wanted to scream and clap but I held it together for your sake, so you’re welcome.
Some people find teenagers difficult and hard to understand - sometimes that’s true, but that’s really true of all of us. You have taught me how much I love big kids. I have loved seeing the world through your eyes, and your friends’ eyes. I never mind driving your friends around because I know you’re having fun and the days where you need me to drive you will come to an end sooner than I’d like. Plus I always learn something and I always laugh. I love the humor and the silliness because life is really all too serious. We always talk about how no one peaks in middle school but I’m really glad you made it back for the finale so I could experience the humor. I love being the first person you see at the end of your day because that won’t always be the case too. I also love your undying devotion to these goofy dogs, the way that you manage to make a nest on any freshly made bed or folded blanket in this house, the dirt that you track in on your shoes and up my stairs, the way you devour sour skittles and taffy taffy (no candy is safe in this house), and the way you can eat dinner and then a bowl of cereal an hour later.
Sometimes I see myself in you, only different, but that’s probably why I understand you so well - maybe that, and the fact that I gave birth to you. You have incredible intuition and can read people like a book. People really underestimate that quality in you, but if used wisely and discreetly it really does help you in life (ask me how I know). You and I have sat in so many rooms together and listened to so many hard things. Sometimes people talk over you because you look like you aren’t paying attention when it’s really that you’d like to get the heck out of there. They usually look at me to answer for you, but I don’t because you are capable and you always say how you really feel, even if it’s not what people want to hear. That kind of honesty is so important in this world. I also love when you say exactly what I am thinking but it’s more appropriate coming from your mouth. You won’t always get away with that, so enjoy it now.
I feel like I’ve watched you grow up right before my eyes in the last two years or so, and it’s because you really have. You have become even wiser than you were before. Before, you knew stuff. Now you’ve lived stuff. You are not living an easy life for sure, but I hardly ever hear you complain, except for maybe about homework, but even then you get it done. You just get after it and make everyone wish they had the kind of drive and spirit that you do. You have lots of admirers - people are inspired by your perseverance and strength. You are living proof that leaders are born out of example rather than words. You are also living proof that what needs to be said sometimes, doesn’t really need words.
Bailey, there’s just something incredibly special about who you are and I’ve learned so much by being your mom. You set the bar high for yourself and for those around you. You are a protector - especially for your sister. At fourteen you have empathy and compassion that can only be earned the hard way but you use it to see and feel what others do - you hold a special power and secret to what life is really about that few understand. I love the way God knows you and is writing your story. You are so loved and so prayed for and I believe you can do anything.
I’ll always be your biggest fan.
Happy Birthday!
Love,
Mom
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