Dear my Kate,
Today you are twelve! I have been able to love you for twelve entire years! (and dream about you even longer than that).
I have loved watching you grow this year because I can see more and more how you will be as an adult, but you are still my littlest girl. You are the giving-est giver I know and you love so freely with every part of yourself. I can still pick you up and I will try to do so until you are taller than me so forgive me in advance.
This was a big year - middle school! You faced sixth grade with every ounce of confidence and bravery that you have. There’s something weird that happens in middle school - people start to change in weird ways sometimes. I always tell you that no one peaks during this time which is a good thing. Usually no one really remembers it fondly either, or maybe even at all, so it’s good to keep that in mind. In middle school there’s this thing that happens where all the moms suddenly realize you know more than we think you do, yet not nearly enough. We have to have all sorts of conversations about awkward things and while we don’t love it, we do it because someday you’ll have to be a functioning and well-rounded adult who is capable of making educated decisions. How weird is it that we have to think about those things when you’re twelve? Maybe not weird to you, but for me, it seems like just two days ago that your biggest issue was losing your pacifier between the seats in the car. Just remember that one day when your kid is twelve.
You got a phone this year. Your brother called me on the first day of school and said, “you know she really needs a phone if she’s going to ride that bus.” (Sometimes you have three parents). I wasn’t so sure about the phone deal but I realized how much I loved you having it after I started getting good-bye texts and selfies from you every morning - they made my day! You rode the bus this year for the first time and I’ll say that it was just as educational as being in the school building, maybe even more. I have loved hearing about your days after school - what people wear, what teachers say, and the general drama which you avoid but not unlike myself, do enjoy observing from a distance. One of my favorite parts of the day was seeing you come off that bus in the afternoons and look for me up that hill - I’ll never not love the look when your eyes find mine.
There’s this other really cool part about you figuring out things that in the world and maybe my most favorite thing about this year - it has made us closer. I get to talk to you now about big things and I’m discovering more and more how alike we are - and also that we’re different. I do love the different so much. We certainly can’t be all alike and it’s so much fun to see your own unique little self emerge.
I absolutely love spending time with you - even when it’s just to Target or when we sneak off to Starbucks. I love hearing your ideas and your thoughts because they are so full of detail and so full of potential. I love watching your creativity emerge when you take on another project or when you have a great idea and then it’s the most magical thing to watch when you make that idea into something real. Your little mind spins a thousand miles a minute and it’s usually with songs or plans or something fun. You are my planner and keep me on track with a thousand sticky notes from my grocery list to reminders to do things that you need me to do. I have never been a list maker but boy, do you love a list. You check those off and then make more. You also like me to do all of those things as quickly as possible but you’ve gotten a lot better at waiting.
You remain my girl of adventure and if there’s a trip around the corner, it is your favorite thing. You are almost as excited about the planning as the actual trip. Hotels are your favorite, although you’re recent discovery of the Airbnb site is giving the hotel industry a run for their money. We did a big trip to California this year - we let you and Bailey choose where to go and mostly choose what we did. In true fashion you had a plan for every day - even checking off all the rides at Disneyland on your map. Your favorite parts were the beaches, walking with me to the grocery store in our little neighborhood, the swings outside in the backyard of the house we stayed in, touring the movie sets, and well, Disneyland. You are just as content with the smallest things as you are with the big adventures which is a great way to be - you will learn more and appreciate more that way. Your least favorite parts were the food choices that the boys made and the Whiskey A Go-Go, but we sure won’t forget Daddy making us go by it a thousand times. I loved watching you absorb the adventures through your own eyes - you just make life so much fun!
You had another great year of running too - cross country season was so much fun to watch. It was your first year to run on the middle school team and even though it makes you nervous, you make it look so easy and you make us so proud every time. It has to be intimidating to run against so many tall people when you can mostly only see legs, but your little legs sure can move! I can always find you because you’re the little one with the fierce look on your face. You’ve proven over and over again that size truly doesn’t matter but popsicles at the end truly do. I loved watching you with your team and how you cheered each other on. You and I drove to the state meet immediately after we got off the plane from California and while I could barely stand up, you managed to bring home a trophy. You earned it for sure - I’ll drive to the end of the earth to see you succeed.
Martha Kate, your heart remains as big as it always has - it basically fills your whole insides. You look for ways to make people happy and you absolutely love to gift gifts and to watch people open gifts - even as a baby you parked yourself in front of the presents because you couldn’t wait to see what’s inside. You know what everyone likes and pay attention to what everyone needs - especially your brother. You manage to take care of him without him really even knowing which is impressive. I call you the big little sister. I sat with you and your teachers this year and listened to them tell me how kind you are. They told me how hard you work and that you are helpful and look for ways to do things for others and even ask how they are doing. This made me prouder than any grades you could bring home, although you do bring home good grades and you certainly work hard for them.
I have worried how our crazy and unpredictable life has affected you, and I probably always will, but what you have shown me over and over is that you can adapt to pretty much any situation. You never complain, never ask for anything - unless it’s hot glue or gum - and almost always find a way to find joy and contentment wherever you are. You also see things in people that other people miss and think about how they must feel - which is the truest definition of empathy and something I certainly couldn’t teach you. To watch this unfold in spite of all that you have endured is more special than you could ever know.
You, my girl, are going places. Inside of you is so much love and goodness and potential and joy, that it can hardly be contained in your fifty six pounds. There’s a magic in your creativity and I have the best front row seat to watching it unfold. Your ear for music is clearly your daddy’s. It’s a gift that I don’t have so I am completely fascinated by it. You can memorize song lyrics faster than anyone I know and when you sing it sounds like the purest thing to me. I think because it is the purest thing. You are so easily pleased - it just doesn’t take much for you to be thrilled which is the most fun thing to watch. You love M&Ms, Hobby Lobby, Starbucks, not wearing shoes, Target, all kinds of music, hot glue, glitter markers, sticky notes, summer, hotels, and beaches - basically any wide open space that does not confine you. You don’t like three-quarter sleeves, craft instructions because they’re too confining, when people are sad or upset, dresses with waistbands, socks, winding roads in cars, restaurants that only sell fried chicken, and when things take too long. You know what you want and you’re willing to work to get it. When you’re ready, you’re ready and when you’re done, you’re done. If you don’t like something I can see it all over your face. (You get that honest, by the way).
It’s also worth mentioning that your twelfth birthday has fallen during a pandemic - for the record and your memory when your older. What that’s meant for you is that school got out at spring break and that turned into summer and I’ve had you all to myself for the last two months at home. People say words like social distancing and quarantine and unprecedented a lot. I think I was supposed to be teaching you but I didn’t - at least not schoolwork. Instead, you’ve been free to not wear shoes, be creative, cook, make desserts, and play outside as much as you desire. We’ve ridden bikes, spent a lot of time on the swing, cooked your Nana’s recipes, and you make a craft every single day. I have gotten the incredible gift of time with you next to me every single day without having to share you with the world. I know you miss your activities and friends and sleepovers and I wish that for you soon, but I’m soaking up all of the time I can. So when you’re 52 and you remember the pandemic, just know that’s how I felt.
Also remember that I booked us a beach house, because we like the same things and we need to get out of here.
I love you my girl more than you could ever know - right down to your 492 freckles. Jesus loves you too. You are the very best I girl I could ever ask for.
Mommy
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