sixteen

And now you are sixteen!  

I told you this week that I wasn’t old enough for that, and I mean it.  I know you don’t get this at all but it’s like one day you have a tiny kid in matching dinosaur PJs, rolling Lightening McQueen across the floor, and the day a half grown man is constantly opening your refrigerator to eat all of your food and asking if he can drive your very own car.  

Forgive me, if I need a minute on that one.  We’ll get there.  

Your birthday always marks the new year a little for me - it’s kind of my start instead of January first, maybe because I remember that two weeks sixteen years ago when all I did was wait for you to get here.  You took your sweet time, and you still do that.  I can only hope that you’ll get some sense of urgency about you one day and get places on time.  

You were worth the wait.  Still are.  

It’s been a little bit of a wacky year.  We all had great intentions and goals of what we were going to do this year but like a lot of years in our life those got a little derailed and we had to make some different plans.  Really. we made no plans at all because they all got canceled.  The weird thing is it’s like the world joined us this time, not like all those other times when we were sort of stuck at home and missing out - no FOMO this year.  So, years from now when you read this and wonder how old you were that time there was a worldwide pandemic -  you were fifteen and it was 2020.  More than your age, you’ll probably remember that school got out for spring break and you had the longest summer break ever.  When you were fifteen you slept until noon on what would be considered a school day, because there was no school.  When there was school, a lot of it was on a zoom call and you quickly found that “camera off” button, occasionally allowing you to continue sleeping while your teacher talked to the ceiling in your bedroom.  

Maybe you’ll also remember that we couldn’t find toilet paper anywhere.  I still can’t figure out what toilet paper has to do with a worldwide pandemic but maybe it explains a little about how the world worked in 2020 because instead of focusing on the real issue at hand, people just bought a lot of toilet paper.  You may actually see that to be a pattern in life - sometimes people are unreasonable when things in their life are out of control.  

What this year has meant for me is that I have gotten to see you every single day because we have pretty much been home every single day.  That part I have loved - mostly anyway.  Sometimes it’s a little loud and there’s a little too much chaos, but for the most part I love having you and your sister so close. The dogs have really loved having everybody here and if life ever returns to some sort of previous state, they will either be exhausted from us being in their face all day, or sad.  I bet we have one of each and I bet you can guess which one is which. 

You have become quite a golfer and fisherman and boy, do you ever know football.  I mean, I think you know everything about every football player there is college or NFL and while I have no idea who you are talking about I am happy to listen.  You’ve spent hours swinging golf clubs in the yard and you text me pictures of the fish you catch and funny videos of your dad playing golf.  I couldn’t love it more.  You have schooled me in fishing bait and we go to Bass Pro nearly every time we’re at St. Jude because I can’t say no.  I now get preferred customer emails from Karl’s Bait and Tackle and Bass Pro and such because of you.  Thanks, bro.  Your sense of humor and the fact that you don’t leave me out of the best moments are some of my greatest accomplishments in motherhood.  

You’re an expert in fried chicken and I’ve spent a lot of time in the drive thru at Popeye’s this year because you’ve had a lot of leg surgeries and again, I can’t say no. Plus, you share the biscuits.  I will maybe blame that drive thru for my extra wrinkles this year because no way it is my age or all the time I've spent in surgery waiting rooms, but you’re worth it.  You and your five piece spicy tenders.  

You gave up haircuts this year.  At first it was a quarantine thing and then I think it turned into an experiment and now we all kind of love it.  It looks good on you and we all kind of wish we had your hair. I’ll never understand how you can have great hair, lose it completely, and have it come back even better.  Well played.  

I could have never imagined what having a sixteen year old would be like, especially when you were a little kid.  But, here’s the deal.  I like it.  I like hearing your perspective on things and I like not knowing what you’re going to say next or do next because you’ve got your own mind now.  This was an election year and I’ve never enjoyed debates more than when I watched them with you while you gave commentary and swung a golf club in the living room.  I’ve realized this year more than ever that there are a lot of opinions flying in this house.  There's a lot of golf balls and footballs flying too, but that's another topic.  

The real bonus of sixteen is that I get to sit back and watch a little.  I mean, not too far back, but just far enough.  To be honest, that’s hard to figure out as a mom.  What I know about you from watching you is that you’re consistent.  You have been exactly the same person your entire life.  You tell the truth.  You tell it exactly how you see it.  You will go to great lengths to find out every living detail about something you are interested in and you will notice every small detail that no one else does.  You will not forget - like ever.  Ok, if it has to do with school, maybe.  But, you forget no one’s birthday, important medical issue, or what they really like.  I have never known anyone in my entire life more detail oriented than you.  I have also never known anyone to spout out any more random facts about things that I had never given one thought to than you and I cannot even tell you how much I’ve learned.  

You have single handedly managed to charm a countless medical professionals if they took a minute to get to know you.  Why who wouldn’t be charmed with that hair and that smile and that quick wit?  You most likely asked them some personal detail from the last time you saw them - their dog, their grandmother’s name, that fish they caught one time - you stored it all and spouted it back and not one person thought you were listening.  Watching you recite those details and the smile that comes across someones face from your remembering is one of my greatest pleasures. It is truly a gift.  

At sixteen, I wish for you to enjoy all that life brings you.  Go play golf.  Get a hole in one and if you don’t, then enjoy trying.  Go fishing and catch the biggest fish you can find.  Throw the football.  Maybe, I’ll even let you drive this year.  Kidding, I’ll let you, but I will miss you being in my car.  

Here’s the thing, Bailey, YOU - without even trying or knowing, have managed to inspire a boatload of people, including your mom.  

I’m your biggest fan.  I think you know it but don’t forget it.  

Sorry I yell about your schoolwork, but it’s my job.  You have to be a productive citizen one day and apparently this is a requirement.  So get it done even if it says it’s virtual because it’s really not, they’re just saying that because of COVID.  

Happy Sixteenth birthday, Bailey!

I love you! 

Moms.