thirteen

My very best girl - You are thirteen!! 

I now have two teenagers in the house which means that basically it is just one big lesson in human growth and development over here.  You are both so much fun, though! 

This has been one interesting year of ALL THE RULES, but like you do, you’ve rolled with it.  That pandemic deal that started before your last birthday just kept going and is just now looking a little more like something we recognize, but I still don’t know ALL THE RULES.  So many rules…

But, girl, let me tell you if there’s one thing we know how to do, it’s make the most of what we’ve got.  And what we have for sure is each other.  It was a little tricky to plan trips this year but we did manage to escape a couple of times to the beach and used your running trips as reason to stay in a hotel and eat takeout.  Hey, whatever works! 

You are always up for whatever idea I’ve got and usually right in the middle of it because you’re my biggest helper.  This year, you have helped me paint and cook and plant and basically all the things that I could walk around and think of to change after looking at them in the house for way too long.  We redecorated your room and you went next level with the peel and stick wallpaper that had me saying words I shouldn’t.  It also reminded me of all the summers I spent helping my own mama hang country blue floral wallpaper in her house.  I could hear her voice in my head telling me to go with your creative whim because that’s what she did and simultaneously hear her giggling at us trying to wrestle with that “easy application” giant sticker on the wall.  I hear her a lot and I see her a lot when I look at you.  

You love to organize and you are always, always prepared.  When we leave the house, you are the one who has the snacks and waters, the extra clothes, and the sunscreen.  You know what the weather will be and have your raincoat and extra socks too, because no one likes to wear wet socks.  You have a thousand bags and every one of them has something in them that you might “need.”  You can be ready in seconds to go anywhere, but you really prefer not to be in a hurry because the more time you have, the more prepared you can be.  Five minutes down the road and you will bust out the goldfish and M&Ms, making the rest of us wish we had thought of that.  You love planners and timers and alarms.  These are all the things that I find hilarious because I hardly write anything down and I just go with what comes next.  But, you’ve got alarms and timers going off all over the house all the time to keep you on track and your planner is completely full with color coded events.  Maybe you could show me how to fill mine out? (And then you could read it for me and remind me what I need to do).  Wait, you do that anyway.  

You tackled seventh grade this year, which as we have discussed, is no one’s favorite.  Fortunately, one peaks there, it’s more something you have to get through and if there’s a grade to skip, it would be that one.  Yours was weird because it started hybrid (which used to be a word I only used when referring to daylilies) but it meant that sometimes you went to actual school and a lot of times you sat a home and carried around an iPad from the bed to the table to the couch wrapped in a blanket while the dogs barked and we all circled around each other trying to find a place to plug in our computers.  (So much for trying to limit your kid’s screen time - you’ll notice I gave up).  You and I spent a great deal of time trying to decode assignments and I brushed up on my math skills, learned a lot about the Chinese dynasties, and neither of us want to see a seventh grade study guide ever again.  You and your brother also managed to mark your attendance from the bed and watch YouTube during lessons which I had to ignore and put in the life skills category of multitasking.  In spite of it all, you’re still shining.  I’ve told you before, but somehow you make what is supposed to be awkward look good.  Someday, I’ll show you the seventh grade photos of my bangs, glasses, and braces with my white Keds, and you’ll understand what “awkward” really means.  

You had another great running year in both cross country and track.  There’s nothing like seeing you round that corner to the finish line with that look on your face.  You set goals and you meet them, and most of the time, you beat them.  And, when you wake up ready, there’s absolutely no stopping you.  Sometimes you run under people’s elbows and sometimes I watched people try to elbow you, which only made you move faster.  You really don’t like it when people try to push you around and have proven over and over not to underestimate you because of your size.  It also makes you a little sneaky because they don’t see you coming.  

You tried some new things this year due to our “work around ALL THE RULES” best effort.  Music is what sets your life in motion and you’ve always got a song running through your head and in your heart.  You did voice and choir and even a play this year which is all impressive because half the time you had to rehearse on zoom - once even in the car between sledding in the year of the MOST SNOW EVER.  I even figured out how to record you in my closet for a virtual performance because it was the only place we couldn’t hear the leaf blower.  You also learned to water ski - it took you about two tries and you made it look easy.  You tried out for a play on a whim.  It was a drop off (almost a drive-by) tryout due to ALL THE RULES.  I hardly knew what part you had and had never really heard you sing any of it until you got on stage and you basically had the stage to yourself, singing your very own Pocahontas solo like that’s what you’d been doing your whole life.  Which, I guess you have, but mostly standing on the kitchen table or in the car.  Most important, you sang in Lauren’s wedding.  I know very few twelve year olds that have it together enough to stand in front of a crowd of strangers (and random hotel guests) and pull that off, but you nailed it and it was certainly the best gift you could give her.  

The bonus for the year of ALL THE RULES is that we have gotten to hang out together so much.  We like to spend our mornings on the swing, ride our bikes to Starbucks, and walk aimlessly around Target.  Once we rode our bikes to get corn dogs and I’m so glad you appreciate my love for the pronto pup.  We did the beach a couple times and we are our best selves near the ocean.  We found all sorts of treasures on our walks, rode beach cruisers, and ate all the ice cream.  You cooked a lot and our house had more cookies and brownies than ever before.  You also made a lot of things.  You can basically make anything you can think of and I’m amazed at what you create.  

You are a girl who knows what you like and who you are and let me say that there are a lot of grown women my age who don’t know that yet.  I told you a while back that these next few years may be harder for you because you already know who you are and you aren’t really willing to compromise on that.  But, trust me that this will serve you well and eventually most people will catch up to you.  You like for people to be happy and do not like for people to argue or when they are sad.  You feel others deeply and see what others miss.  You have empathy because your life has been filled with reasons to have empathy and because we have had no choice but to live with purpose and learn what matters.  You can fully assess a situation and formulate a plan our size up the room before most people can form a thought.  

Kate, you are loved by so many.  You have a bunch of extra mothers who I am lucky to have been able to share you with.  It wasn’t my choice and at the time it broke my heart, but out of necessity when you were very little, my friends loved you like their own.  Because of this, you got a bunch of big sisters and brothers and learned early to hang with the big kids.  You could tread water better than any three year old I know because you were determined to be in the deep end. You were born resilient, but our crazy life has made you more flexible and I have no doubt taught you to be prepared for whatever may come your way.  You are and independent thinker and an independent doer.  I’ve always say you have a plan and I know by the look on your face when you’re busy making plans in your head.  Now you usually tell them to me, but  sometimes  when you were little I found out when you were at the top of the fence or swinging off the tree or standing on the counter.  

You like so many things now that it’s hard to fit them all in your day.  You like being creative most of all and having the free time and space to do so.  You like every color in the rainbow but turquoise and yellow are your favorites.  You like Gilmore girls, Hamilton, Broadway musicals, hotels, all kinds of music and you can learn song lyrics faster than anyone I know.  You like Starbucks and ice cream and M&Ms and smoothies.  Oh, and cheeseballs.  You love fashion and shoes and can do hair and makeup better than I ever could for sure.  You love jewelry and make earrings for me and help me match mine.  You also wear three bracelets on your ankle - one for Bailey, one for me, and one for our friend Lizzy in heaven and you never take them off.  You love organizing and decorating and making lists.  You love water and the ocean and sunsets (maybe because I make you look at them or drive the car to the best spot to see them, but still you never let me miss a good one).  You are your best self in summer because shoes are optional and a girl like you just needs to be free.  You love these dogs and your family and you’re the best little big sister that I know.  Although, if we don’t all stop doing things for him, I’ll have to send you to college with Bailey.  You look for the good and see what others don’t see in people.  You have empathy that was hard earned but makes you wiser and more aware of what people really need.  You are a giver and you love to make people feel special.  You never forget a birthday or holiday and this year you even organized an entire finish line party and water stop situation for daddy and me to run during our virtual St. Jude half marathon.  On mile 13, I looked down our street and saw you drawing a chalk finish line sign - something I'll never forget.  

You love Jesus and were baptized this year.  The absolute greatest decision you could ever make.  In the year of ALL THE RULES, that too was a little different but maybe more fitting because you knelt in a garden with your hands over the baby blanket that your Nana made for you when you were born.  And just behind you was a brick with her name on it.  One of the things that life has taught me most is that God has a way of working things out kind of perfectly in the end.  

There’s a short list of things you don’t like but mostly you don’t like drama or really any sort of conflict.  And you really prefer not to wait too long for anything.  You also would prefer dessert over actual food, don’t particularly care for socks, and have a laundry list of clothing rules that you’ve managed to work around in order to make comfort look cute.  You also aren’t particularly fond of a camping situation where public amenities may be the only option.  (We heart hotels).

My girl, you bring us such incredible joy and so much love.  You color my world happy and I’m the luckiest to call you mine.  I pray that thirteen is the best that it could ever be.  And remember, people are sometimes weird but the intent is usually good, if you can’t say anything nice don’t say anything at all, and that you mom loves you always.  

Happy 13, Martha Katherine Jessop!

I love you! 

Mom

And in your own words from what you wrote in school this year, because I think your words about yourself say so much...

"Some of my favorite things to do in my free time is to go running or sing.  I am on the Houston cross country team, also the track team too.  I love to run because I love to talk to my friends and I am actually really good at it.  I love to sing because when I sing or listen to others on the radio, I get this sudden spark in me that I just can't let go of.

I believe that my personal characteristics are caring but sometimes sassy, and I am sure my friends would agree.  Sometimes I can care for others when they need me because I can relate to most peoples issue, I am empathetic towards them.  But other times, people can be really rude to others and that person that is rude just needs someone to set them straight.  That's where I come in..."